Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.

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(646): View more from New York

You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....

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(732): View more from New Jersey

been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college

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(646): View more from New York

Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(803): View more from South Carolina

I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....

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(207): View more from Maine

My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever

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