Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.