idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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