if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
