apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
