I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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