"it" just moved
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize