So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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