Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
