I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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