What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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