haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize