Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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