i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
