I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
