lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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