she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
