my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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