Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
