She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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