OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
