nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
