You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
