Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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