I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize