I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
