Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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