Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
