I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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