i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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