You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
