...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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