She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
