Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
