My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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