if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
