she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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