my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
birth control should be required to get into college
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
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I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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