THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
my poor anus
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
