All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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