Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
