3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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