After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
