the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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