Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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