we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Pooping to opera.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
