I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
