she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
