hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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