lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
