She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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