Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
is that a dick in a sweater?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
