So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
