Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
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Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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