420 ftw
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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