Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
