Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
