she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
