the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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