You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex