wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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