It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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