She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
