I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
