He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
