Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
