Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
