whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
